After the sunset faded from the sky and darkness descended, I sat in the passenger seat wondering how much longer it would be before we stopped for the night. Ten hours had passed since we started driving that morning, and it was still several hours before bedtime. We talked, listened to the radio and I dozed a little. I was bored. There was not much to do except watch the cars pass us on the highway as mile after mile of darkness passed.
It was my first experience of realizing that Charlie’s goal is to get to our destination. He does not really enjoy himself until we get there. Then he is ready to enter full vacation mode, or whatever else is the purpose of the trip. His motto for travel is “Conquer the trip!” It is not that he does not appreciate seeing the flowers as we fly by them on the highway. He just does not want to stop long enough to smell them.
“Enjoy the journey!” is my motto. Every day is an adventure, whether at home, on the road, or in another country. So I enjoy making plans to stop along the way and see the sights that we would otherwise pass. So yes, let’s stop and take pictures of scenic vistas, smell the honeysuckle, and run across the sand to dip my feet in the ocean. I enjoy seeing what the day will hold, especially when the routine of being at home is gone.
Over the years, Charlie has made many concessions to my desire to stop and enjoy the scenery, stretch my legs, or stop at historic places. I am more willing to go the distance of putting in 15-hour days in order to please him.
Air travel is different. Once we buy our tickets, we have very little control over what happens. However, our perspectives still emerge.
Long layovers in airports? I use the time to watch the parade of people as they cross paths briefly in a location where they do not plan to stay. I wonder who they are and where they are headed. I write or read books and enjoy the layover. Sometimes I strike up a conversation with strangers, especially if they have children or if they look like they would appreciate a chat. Charlie uses the time well too, but it is grueling for him. He just wants to get there.
Delayed planes and missed connections? For me, it’s part of the adventure. After all, we never would have stayed overnight in an expensive hotel in Japan if there had not been a problem on our return from India. While Charlie appreciated that particular perk, he generally sees these as disruptions to the goal of arriving at our destination on time. “Conquer the trip!” is still his motto.
It is, perhaps, one of the reasons God put us together. I need more of his goal-oriented punctuality. He needs more of my enjoyment of life. Together we get a little bit of both perspectives.
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