Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Marriage Advice from Dad

Recently while I was sorting through the papers left behind by Charlie's parents, I found the transcript of the words of advice that Fred gave us during our wedding ceremony.  That day we asked both my parents and Charlie's dad to give us their words of advice for a good marriage.  We wanted to learn from those who had proven that a happy, successful marriage could be ours as well.  These words  were good words of advice which we welcomed as we began our life together.  We appreciated hearing them that day, and I enjoyed re-reading them today.  Maybe they will be a blessing to someone else, so I offer them here.
May I first congratulate Charles and Joan on their wedding day.  May your lives together be long and happy ones.
I would like to take this opportunity to express a few thoughts on what constitutes a happy and successful marriage.  I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or marriage counselor.  I am just a retired school teacher with almost 51 years of a productive and happy married life behind him.  These thoughts are meant to be a guideline only.  They worked for my wife Ellen and me, and we have lived by them.

First, make sure your spouse is your best friend.  Be there for your partner.  There will be times when you come home after a grueling day, when it seems that the world is against you, when the harder you try, the behinder you get and you feel a need to unburder yourself.  That is the time your spouse needs to sit and listen, not give advice or offer suggestions to what you could have done nor cast blame on anyone, but just sit and listen.  Perhaps and encouraging, kind word now and then would be in order.  The key, Charlie and Joan, is to let your spouse know you are there for them.

Second and most important, never go to sleep angry at each other.  Anger never solves problems.  It feeds upon itself.  I remember our pastor asked an elderly couple with 63 years of happy married life behind them what they attributed their successful marriage to.  Their answer in unison was this:  "We have never gone to sleep angry at each other."  I know from experience that at bedtime, when all is in darkness, if one hand will reach out it will find the spouses hand ccoming to meet it.  The past intense discussion, yes even an argument, will be cast aside with love for one another and the Lord's help.  All problems can be solved.

Third, verbal angry words hurt and cannot be withdrawn.  We hear a lot about physical abuse these days, but I believe verbal abuse is more hurtful and long lasting.  Verbal abuse, and angry words, those words that are spoken without thought, can wound deeply.  The idea that an apology makes it all right again is nonsense.  Once spoken, the words are there.  Find a method that works for both of you when anger arises.  Perhaps an embrace, a cooling-off period, or a prayer.  Above all, when angry emotions take over, find a way to control them.

There are many experiences that the two of you will have.  There are many decisions to make.  My prayer is that the two of you soon learn to be one.  Think of the other first.  Don't fail to show love and affection for each other.  I know there are those who wondered why my wife and I, both in our 70's, still held hands, hugged a great deal and never said goodbye without a kiss.  But we know why.  We loved each other for 51 years.

So Charlie and Joan, enjoy your lives together.  Be the other's best friend, and always be there for each other.  God bless you.
 I did not remember his exact words, so it was good to reread them.  I did, however, remember the gist of what he said.  He was a real blessing to us, and I am so thankful to have known him.


Friday, September 19, 2014

Guatemalan Strawberries and Cream Cake

Since food is such a large part of the experience of traveling abroad, I have decided to include some of our experiments of duplicating food we encounter on our trips.  There are two things we have tried since our return to the U.S.  This is one of them.

There were, I believe, two main differences between our cakes and the cakes we experienced in Guatemala were the frosting and the moistness.  The Guatemalans frost their cakes with whipped cream instead of powdered sugar frosting, and they add a sweet milk or a syrup after baking to moisten the cake even further.

First I followed the directions on a butter-flavor cake mix. I like the look of three-layer cakes, so I used 8-inch pans and divided the batter into the three pans.

While the cake was baking, I washed the strawberries and chose the prettiest one for decorating the top of the cake.  Then I cut up strawberries about two cups of strawberries for the filling.

I also made a simple syrup for moistening the cake.
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon butter (for added butter flavor)
Heat on medium heat until sugar completely melts.  Remove from heat and allow to cool.

I also made the whipped cream frosting:
2 cups of heavy cream
1 teaspoon of vanilla
1/2 cup powdered sugar
Beat together until stiff peaks form.

By the time the cake had cooled, the syrup had also cooled. I used a pastry brush to spread the syrup on, but it was not necessary.  I could have easily dribbled the syrup directly on to the cake.  The pastry brush method took too long.  If the syrup rolls off instead of soaking in, poke through the outer crust with a fork so that the syrup enters the cake.

 Frost the first layer with whipped cream.  Add strawberries.  Since the layer will be cover, there is no particular order to the placement of these strawberries.  Cover with more whipped cream.  Continue to stack the cake with the next layer of whipped cream, strawberries and more cream.

Since this was my first attempt at this cake, I decided to keep it simple and not try to decorate the cake with more than just the strawberries.  However, a cake decorating kit could add a lot of beauty to this simple cake.

After trying this cake this time, there are a few things I would change.  (1) I would increase the amount of whipped cream and strawberries between the layers.  By the time it sat overnight, much of the whipped cream had soaked into the cake.  (2) I might even increase the amount of syrup, though for the American palate, I think it was moist enough. (3) While the three layers looks nice, the next time I think I will bake it in two 9-inch pans and split the layers in two.  This will aid in the syrup soaking into the cake and will give more layers of strawberries and cream.  (4)  Finally, I think I will make it with chocolate cake next time.  Chocolate with strawberries and cream sounds delicious.

Warning:  If you need to transport this cake to another location, you may need toothpicks to secure it.  The whipped cream is so slippery that when we tried to take it to my parents' home, the top layers completely slid off the bottom layer.

Now for you to see my competition.  It will be a long time before my cakes look anything like these, but that gives me something for which to strive.







Tuesday, September 9, 2014

“America is Disneyland”

 

One sunny summer afternoon, the kind that Minnesota is famous for, I was in my office at church, surrounded by papers and books on my desk.  A friend stopped by and said to me, “Do you want to go on a walk with us?  It’s such a nice day and summer is too short.  A walk around the lake will do us some good.”

A few minutes later, we jumped into their small car and headed to Lake Harriet, about seven miles away.  When we got there, we parked the car and began our walk around the small lake.  Even the trees, shimmering in the light breeze, seemed to be reveling in the perfect day.  The sun glinted off the ripples in the water, and sailboats, tilting toward the wind, skimmed across the clear blue water. When we circumnavigated the lake, we got back into the car and drove back.

Jon parked the car and as we walked back into the church, he said, “America is Disneyland.” 

I laughed and agreed, but just to make sure I was agreeing with the same things that he was talking about, I asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well,” he began.  “We just decided to go to the lake, seven miles away.  We got in our car, drove there, walked around the lake and returned, all within two hours.  We didn’t have a flat tire on the way.  There were no downed trees or washed away bridges preventing us from proceeding.  We didn’t have car trouble.  There were no roadblocks along the way, and no one tried to break into the car or rob us while we walked around the lake.  On the other hand, when we were missionaries, at least one of those things was likely to happen on any given trip.   A trip like the one we just took would have required much more planning.  We would have started packing the car the night before with water and emergency supplies, and we might never have reached our destination.  America is like Disneyland, and Americans don’t even realize how blessed we are.”

I smiled and agreed again, remembering many of my experiences abroad.  Roadblocks, car trouble, impassable roads, and plenty of flat tires were all part of our travel. 

Coming back from Guatemala, I again thought of that conversation.  The luxuries and efficiency we enjoy here are remarkable.  Even though my years in the U.S. now exceed my years abroad, there are still so many things that amaze me.

  • We have hot running water.  Guatemala had hot water in the shower, but none in the kitchen.  In many of the places where we go, the only hot water is the water you heat on the stove. 
  • I can drink water straight from the tap.  Often, when we first return, I find myself thinking twice about pouring a glass of water from the tap.  What a blessing!
  • Mail is reliable and we do not have to pay a surcharge for having the mail delivered to our house.
  • We can pay bills online or by mail instead of standing for hours in line to pay each 2014 Guatemala 088bill.
  • Roads are wide enough that you do not have to back up to a wide spot in order for an oncoming car to pass you.
  • We can travel safely on highways at 65 or 75 miles per hour.   In Guatemala, it took us two hours to travel to the capital city, a distance of only 25 miles.
  • We do not have to pass through checkpoints between states.
  • Grocery stores do not run out of staples and stock similar things almost all the time.
  • We get fresh produce in the grocery store all winter long.  We are not limited to the crops that are locally in season. 
  • Internet is easily available.
  • Septic systems allow you to flush your toilet paper.
  • Policemen are your helpers and protectors.  If I am stopped and I am quite sure I have done nothing wrong, I do not fear them.  On the other hand, I  have been in countries where a stop by a policeman meant he was looking for a bribe.  Failure to pay that bribe could result in a short stay in a jail cell.  Thankfully, God kept me from having to pay that price for ignoring the obvious pleas for a bribe.

There are many others, but these are the ones I often find myself thanking God for when we return from a trip abroad.  So the next time you go to the sink and pour yourself a glass of water to drink, thank God for the placing you in a land where we live with fewer risks and many more luxuries than the rest of the world enjoys.

We are blessed far beyond what we ever would have deserved.  Thank you, Lord!