Fifteen Years

Fifteen years ago I said, “I do.”  I said it with full faith that God had brought us together and that He would give me the grace to fulfill the vows I made that day.  I did not expect it to be easy.  In fact, I expected it to be hard.  We had both been single a long time.  Joining two independent lives and making them one would be a challenge.  And, although we had known each other for more than a year, our long-distance relationship meant that we had not spent a lot of time together.

The first couple years I found myself often praying, “Lord, help me to be the wife you want me to be.  Make me a servant.  Make me submissive.”  My independent spirit often rebelled.  I got upset over small things and cried silent tears over my failures.  I struggled to be the wife I knew I should be and cried out for God’s mercy and power to make me that woman.

At the same time, I was amazed at how blessed I felt by having this man by my side.  God had given me a huge gift.  He given me a friend and companion for the rest of my life, and He had answered my prayer for a ministry partner.

There were a few blessings that surprised me.  My emotional ups and downs leveled out.  He stabilized me.  When the dark clouds of winter’s SAD came over me, I simply talked to him about it and we figured out a way to ease its hold.  Perhaps the biggest blessing to our new marriage was that I found was that he had already learned to resolve conflict in a biblical manner, and he taught me to do the same.

So today I want to give thanks to God for this man I call “My wonderful husband.”  I wanted to write him a poem, but the words and thoughts have failed, so instead I’ll just make a list.
Charlie, I still love . . .

• looking at your sleepy face across the breakfast table. 
• cooking together.
• hearing you pray for me.
• learning from you when you preach and teach.
• dreaming and working with you on the things God still has for us to do.
• the way you try to please me with little things and big:  little things like making the bed or doing the dishes and big things like taking me out to a fancy restaurant to celebrate our anniversary.
• your faith in our amazing God.
• your steadying influence in my life.
• your steadfastness to stay on the path God has shown us even when the end of deputation seems like an unattainable goal.
• sitting in the library or the café together working separately on our computers.
• sharing our faith together at the evangelism booth at the fair.
• singing duets with you.
• walking down the street hand in hand.
• and so much more.  I think I could keep going until everyone got tired of reading, but that’s enough for now.

Suffice it to say, I’m so glad I married you.